OULTON PARK, 23 AUGUST 2008

OULTON PARK GOLD CUP

The Pantomime Dame Goes Junior!! 

Stuart Tizzard samples both Formula Junior and a single seater for the first time at the Oulton Park Gold Cup.

Well, what can I say and how can I put it without upsetting the tender feelings of FJ owners and enthusiasts (and in particular the poor bast**d that owns the Huffaker).....

I turned up at Oulton Park and immediately went looking for my new steed for the meeting, namely the Huffaker front engined Mk something or other.  Well, try as I might, I could not find the racing car I was looking for anywhere but then I bumped into Stuart Riley, my spannerman for the week end, and the conversation went something like this....."Hi Stu how are you (didn't listen to the reply as I didn't care really) so where is the beast? ........... No, the Huffaker racecar...... no, the real one, that's a kiddy's car, does it belong to one of yours?

..........you are joking ...you mean that's really it?.......bloody hell!

Well Stuart finally persuaded to get into it and so I took it around the roads for a familiarity trip.  Well I nearly wiped out turning out of the Paddock!! I came back smartish and told Stuart that something must be broken as when I tried to steer left or right the back just stepped out. He then took me to one side and gently explained to me that that was normal!!!

Three hours later, just before qualifying, Stuart caught me trying to sneak out of the racetrack and forced me back to the pit and into the car and out I went like a frightened little bunny. The first lap was terrifying but I was still there, the second and third lap I gently went a bit faster and almost enjoyed it.  The fourth lap was actually quite fun and then I fell of the cliff into pure fun as I began to realize what a fantastic little car this was. Sure it drifted as if on ice but after a while, I was having the most fun-filled and enjoyable drive of my life!

My qualifying time was right up with Stevie Wonder but I loved it.

Come the race I started like the good old tortoise but, as the race went on, I found ever-new qualities in this forgiving and well balanced car and I began overtaking a few people and just enjoyed going faster and faster.  Then the pain started... I wear a full face crash helmet and as the smile on my face grew wider and wider the pressure within the helmet grew more and more intense 'til I could bare (sic) no more and then the chequered flag was shown and I missed the pain from then on. I drove back to the pits sad that I could not get straight back in and race again and reluctantly levered myself out - whereupon I could not stop ranting about this wonderful car to the knowing smile of Stuart.

Thank you John for an amazing driving experience and for your generosity

Just to round off the day, just as I was leaving for home General Field Marshall Corporal Punishment Bob Birrell called me to the prize giving and gave me a trophy.!!.................Died and gone to bloody heaven!!!

Stuart Tizzard

PS Does anyone know of a Huffaker for sale?

07802 388122 

The Owners Commentary

I only let Stuart drive the little baby because he was really drunk one night and beginning to simper a bit.  I am not at all surprised that he did not immediately appreciate the subtle charms of a car that combines simultaneous over and under steer.  He has always been a man of limited good looks and intellect.  However, finally even he began to appreciate the secret that Duncan Rabagliati and others have always understood – there is little connection between money and the size of the grin!! 

 

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